Let's talk a little about calorie restriction- and how smallness has permeated every inch of what it means to be a woman.
Yes, in order to lose weight/fat there has to be a caloric deficit. However, you cannot live your entire life in a caloric deficit. Unfortunately, this is what most women (and men) do and the results can be metabolically catostrophic. Your body is designed to store excess food for times of plenty, and use that excess in times of scarcity. Regardless of your body fat levels, you will always be driven to seek food. This is necessary for survival of the species. That being said, we no longer live in a hunt and gather society, and scarcity never comes for most of us. Much of the Standard American Diet (SAD) is comprised of Bliss Point foods (you can read more about that here). These are foods that are artificially enhanced to be extra delicious, and extra bad for you.
So, what do you do? My first recommendation is to incorporate more whole foods into your diet. Foods that don't need a label. These include: fruits, vegetables, meat, whole grains, dairy, nuts and seeds, etc.. These foods are hard to overeat. When is the last time you ate several apples in one sitting? Or several potatoes? However a bag of potato chips is no problem!!
Give yourself freedom to enjoy plenty of good food. Rediscover the natural sweetness of fruits and vegetables and appreciate how the food is nourishing your body. If you exercise regularly, and I hope you do, you will need LOTS of good food to fuel your activity. Don't be afraid to eat!
What about losing weight/ fat??
Slow and steady wins the race. Fat loss is successful when it is accomplished slowly in small increments of restriction. I like 3-4 months at most, followed by a maintenance period. This way your body adjusts to the loss and isn't thrust into binging. It looks like this over the course of a year.